If there was a parenting Bible the title above would be a part of its Holly Commandments! As parents we are all bound to make mistakes. After all we are human and as such we are not perfect. We are actually expected to make mistakes because that is what leads us to look at what we don’t like in ourselves as parents and what corrections we want to make. Unfortunately most of us are conditioned by our own parents and by society that mistakes are bad and the only way to pay for the sin of making them is to feel bad, incapable and guilty. In fact we often feel the more severely we judge ourselves the more we show how regretful we are of what we have done.
Unfortunately, falling into the trap of judgments leads to no good end. The only effect it has on us is that it throws us into negativity and brings our emotional tone down. On the other hand, allowing the impact of a mistake to lead us to a desire to correct it allows us to improve our situation. In the mode of correction, we tend to focus on the desire to improve, which helps us release our guilt and put our energy into the betterment of the situation at hand.
Allow yourself to compare how you feel when you judge yourself for the mistakes you have made and how you feel when you focus on the desire to be a better parent to your child. Which of the two feelings inspires you to change and improve? Which one of them comes from your heart and gives you hope and joy? Which one of them will you choose to align to and follow?
Parents, be kind and loving to yourselves, especially when you feel you need correction. The love and compassion you find for yourself when you err will help you be even more loving and compassionate to your children when they err too.
By Makayla Sadamori, Joy Parenting Coach
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